I have seen bad, abusive and unhealthy polyamorous relationships. I have also seen beautiful and functional monogamous relationships that last a lifetime. I also have seen how toxic monogamy can twist our ideas of healthy relationships and how it dominates our cultures to the point that we expect everyone to follow the relationship escalator of marriage and kids, despite high divorce rates. What I’ve found is that the more I observe relationships of all kinds and remain open to their foundation ideas, the more complicated it appears to name the “best” way to have a relationship.
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One of the biggest things I have learned from polyamory is that you cannot avoid your feelings. Poly has a way of digging up every issue in your relationships and making it sting like salt in a wound. Successful poly forces you to look long and hard at one of the hardest things to look […]
Read more "Actually, it is Me: Being Wrong in Relationships"
A metamour is the partner of your partner. Your wife’s girlfriend is your metamour. Having a metamour is a unique connection that monogamous relationship styles don’t get to see. A metamour is an opportunity for a larger network of friends, support and love. I have had excellent relationships with my metamours, and I have had […]
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I tend to be fiercely private about my life in most settings. I have always been a bit unconventional in my personal life, and it was hard to be open about it. Just like it was hard to come out to my parents as queer, it was almost just as hard to tell them that […]
Read more "Being Open About Poly"