One of the biggest themes I hear in poly is that it’s great because you don’t have to rely on one person to meet all of your personal needs. Whether those needs are mental stimulation, companionship, romance, sex and connection. While it’s true that it’s impossible for one person to meet your needs, it’s also not the solution to simply add more people.Read more "The Truth About Emotional Work"
How do you define the success of a relationship? Is it how long it lasts? Is it that the people never break up, that you live together until one of you grows old and dies? It it endless love and a happily ever after? If you start to think like that, you begin to realize pretty quickly that the real world almost never works like that. In non-monogamous relationships (and in my opinion all relationships) you should be defining what success of the relationship means to you, because there isn’t one universal rule.Read more "What Defines a Successful Relationship?"
I have seen bad, abusive and unhealthy polyamorous relationships. I have also seen beautiful and functional monogamous relationships that last a lifetime. I also have seen how toxic monogamy can twist our ideas of healthy relationships and how it dominates our cultures to the point that we expect everyone to follow the relationship escalator of marriage and kids, despite high divorce rates. What I’ve found is that the more I observe relationships of all kinds and remain open to their foundation ideas, the more complicated it appears to name the “best” way to have a relationship.Read more "The Truth about Polyamory (and Monogamy)"
What is like to have a threesome when everything goes right?Read more "What is it Really Like to Have a Threesome?"
a solo poly person has their core self that consumes the majority of their resources and have satellite relationships around that core.Read more "Setting Your Boundaries as a Solo Poly Practicer"
Nudity doesn’t come naturally for everyone. Depending on the culture you were raised in, throwing off all your clothes and getting comfy in your B-Day suit around other people might be the stuff of nightmares. American culture teaches us to feel shameful about our bodies. In the locker room we all turn away and quickly […]Read more "Trying On Your Birthday Suit: 5 Tips for Getting Used to Public Nudity"
I hit the buzzer and shift from foot to foot at the front door. I glance at my phone and realise I’m early as usual. The spring day is so refreshing compared to the dark of the winter so I turn around and cross the street, to stroll the neighborhood while I wait. He comes […]Read more "I Fall In Love In Threes"
Polyamory is still a quiet community. We know that it will be a very very long time before we are recognized in mainstream media (if ever), and have our rights represented (poly marriages: probably not going to happen). So explaining your different lifestyle can be pretty hard, especially when you don’t know where to start. […]Read more "How I Tell People I’m Polyamorous"
Being a queer woman is hard. Depending on where you live, it can be difficult to meet other available women. Gay men have Grindr, straight people have Tinder (plus a huge number of other dating apps, plus you know, the advantage of being heterosexual). Women have always had a little bit less in the realm […]Read more "HER App Review: Hell Yes For Women"
Learn to say no without explaining yourself. We have been conditioned (especially women) to let people down easy. Our culture has taught us that just saying “I don’t want to” isn’t a good enough excuse for anything. Even saying you don’t want to go to a party or a friends house can be considered rude. […]Read more "Saying No: Stop Making Excuses"