One of the biggest themes I hear in poly is that it’s great because you don’t have to rely on one person to meet all of your personal needs. Whether those needs are mental stimulation, companionship, romance, sex and connection. While it’s true that it’s impossible for one person to meet your needs, it’s also not the solution to simply add more people.Read more "The Truth About Emotional Work"
How do you define the success of a relationship? Is it how long it lasts? Is it that the people never break up, that you live together until one of you grows old and dies? It it endless love and a happily ever after? If you start to think like that, you begin to realize pretty quickly that the real world almost never works like that. In non-monogamous relationships (and in my opinion all relationships) you should be defining what success of the relationship means to you, because there isn’t one universal rule.Read more "What Defines a Successful Relationship?"
I have seen bad, abusive and unhealthy polyamorous relationships. I have also seen beautiful and functional monogamous relationships that last a lifetime. I also have seen how toxic monogamy can twist our ideas of healthy relationships and how it dominates our cultures to the point that we expect everyone to follow the relationship escalator of marriage and kids, despite high divorce rates. What I’ve found is that the more I observe relationships of all kinds and remain open to their foundation ideas, the more complicated it appears to name the “best” way to have a relationship.Read more "The Truth about Polyamory (and Monogamy)"
What is like to have a threesome when everything goes right?Read more "What is it Really Like to Have a Threesome?"
I hit the buzzer and shift from foot to foot at the front door. I glance at my phone and realise I’m early as usual. The spring day is so refreshing compared to the dark of the winter so I turn around and cross the street, to stroll the neighborhood while I wait. He comes […]Read more "I Fall In Love In Threes"
My blog posts have been a little sparse the month of February and I apologise for that. I typically stay on a pretty consistent schedule. The awesome news is that I will be bottoming/co teaching at Rome BDSM Conference with my partner XCBDSM in just a few days. So if you are in Europe you should come down […]Read more "Rome BDSM Conference and Time as a Poly Constraint"
Let me admit something right from the start. I love having sex without barriers. I, like many other people, enjoy the way it feels. I think it provides a closer connection to my partner and it’s just plain hot. I also acknowledge the amount of risk that goes into being barrier free or ‘fluid bonded’ with a […]Read more "Polyamory Without Condoms"
Polyamory is still a quiet community. We know that it will be a very very long time before we are recognized in mainstream media (if ever), and have our rights represented (poly marriages: probably not going to happen). So explaining your different lifestyle can be pretty hard, especially when you don’t know where to start. […]Read more "How I Tell People I’m Polyamorous"
More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory was one of the foundation books that I have built a lot of my beliefs on. It has become one of the reference books in my library, and one of my most recommended reads for friends and partners. When I discovered Franklin Veaux, one of the writers of […]Read more "Review: The Game Changer: A Memoir of Disruptive Love"