Review: Satisfyer Vibrators

I’m a picky sex toy girl. I haven’t bought a new vibrator in a while. As a kinky person, I’ve found that my masturbation needs usually go beyond vibrations (although when I was a teenager I would hump pretty much anything that vibrated even a little bit). I have one or two vibrators that I keep on hand, and use for what I call ‘maintenance masturbation’, but my general sexual needs don’t include the buzz buzz. With that said, I love trying new things and experimenting with toys out there on the market. I was very excited to get to try almost the whole line of Satisfyer vibrators.

This review is going to break down the product line from Satisfyer. I am taking a look at the Satisfyer Pro 2, Satisfyer 2, and the Satisfyer Pro Penguin.

Toy Type: Clitoral stimulation, handheld, suction

For Who: People with a clitoris

Materials: Silicone, ABS plastic

Design: Feminine, discreet shape

Intensity: Somewhere between intense and “holy-shit-balls-turn-it-off-oh-god” on the higher levels

Cool Features: Waterproof, magnetic charging

First Impressions

I had my reservations when I received the three models from Satisfyer. When I saw the images of the vibrators online, I immediately thought of those ear thermometers that they use at the doctor – not sexy. I never got over that first impression either. Even with the rose-gold and pink colors, the vibrator still looks like some sort of not-sexy medical device. If I was more into medical devices I’m sure I would like it more, but I’m one of those people who gets serious icky feelings from even imagining a doctor visit.

The magnetic charging options for the Satisfyer Pro 2 and the Satisfyer Pro Penguin is interesting; think of a newer macbook computer. The charger can easily be pulled away, with no fussing over the plugin point. The only thing I didn’t like about the charging is that both of the USB charged vibrators have a VERY bright light when they are charging. For me that means I have to put them in a room other than my bedroom to charge, because I hate blinking lights while I’m trying to sleep (the Satisfyer 2 is battery operated).

Appearance

Satisfyer Vibrators

The packaging is OK. Almost on its way to quite nice, but you can tell that it isn’t a designer luxury brand like Lelo and it’s playful but not quite as playful and beautiful as FunFactory toys. The toy came with a huge pamphlet to accommodate several different languages, but I found that the actual information wasn’t that comprehensive in each language. For a unique toy like this one I would love to see a more localized (written for the specific language) booklet that had some images and “how to” involved. The Satisfyer website provides a bit more of a description in this way.

The toys don’t look like art. They look like vibrators. There is something subtle that makes an item move from design to excellent design, and it is something that can’t be imitated easily. This is of course coming from a design obsessed blogger, so if you don’t care about having your vibrator as an art piece, disregard my rantings.

Cleaning

I have some concerns about the ability to keep the toy clean. The silicone ‘heads’ are replaceable and you can purchase them in packs of five. The cavity that accommodates the ‘sucky bit’ however, seems a bit more difficult to clean. I would recommend a nice toy cleaner like System Jo Unscented Basics Anti Bacterial Universal Toy Cleaner. I would also make sure to visually check the internal part of the toy often and clean it after every use.

My Experience

I am sensitive to vibration. I find that direct clitoral stimulation from vibration is extremely intense. Not always intense in a bad way, but I can get overwhelmed with the sensation. For strong vibration I tend to like vibrators more like the Hitachi, where it covers a wide area and I can easily use it over a pair of panties to distribute the vibration to more places than just my clitoris.

The Satisfyer line is all about direct clitoral simulation. All of their vibrators fit around your clitoris and effectively use ‘suction’. So taking that into account, I don’t think the Satisfyer would be my first choice of vibrator. However, everyone is different and I know many people who absolutely love the direct stimulation. I also felt rather disconnected from the whole process. You position the toy, and then you simply hold it in place, and any wiggling or other motion can move it from the ideal spot. This would be great for “hands off” masturbators who don’t like directly touching their parts (I know several people who are actual rather uncomfortable with touching themselves. I think I will recommend toys like this for them in the future). However, for me I really enjoy touch. I often masturbate without toys and move around a lot and explore with fingers or moving a toy around to different angles. So when I was using the Satisfyer toys I felt like I was staring down the hallway of my legs, wishing I didn’t have to just hold onto the handle of this ear-thermometer to get off.

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Hey Vag, I’m sorry you’re all the way down there and I’m up here

I found that my sensations with the vibrator varied from great, to intense, to horrible it-feels-like-something-is-nibbling-off-my-clitoris. I actually struggled to orgasm with the toy the first few times I used it. I found that I certainly would get aroused from using it. The almost tugging feeling is unique and for me that got me excited. Then, when I was getting closer to orgasm time I started to get restless. I wanted less stimulation in more places, and I found that one step up on the vibrator was too much and if I went down it was way too little (for all models). I experimented with trying to add a few fingers for internal stimulation, but when holding onto the rather large toy I didn’t quite figure it out.

I have to say that once I do achieve an orgasm with this toy it is a pretty awesome one, the kind where you have a hard time holding the toy in place because you’re kicking the sheets off the bed.

Noise

These vibrators sound like if dubstep, a very small duck, and a harley motorcycle for a hamster all had a baby. The noises vary from kind of quiet when they are in the right position to WUB WUB WUB WUB with some extra squishy hilarity if you move it at all. If you turn it while holding it and not using it, the sound is quite loud. The noise was a bit off-putting to me, and also resulted in some giggles during testing.

Satisfyer Models

I was able to test out three different models that Satisfyer offers. I found that they have subtle differences, for better or for worse. I want to note that this isn’t their full line and they also have a Satisfyer Pro Deluxe model which I did not test.

Satisfyer Pro Penguin

Satisfyer Pro Penguin Charging
Satisfyer Pro Penguin Charging

I found that the higher settings were more vibration feeling and less of a suction. The ‘mouth’ of the vibrator is a bit harder and wider than the other two. I found that I liked the wider mouth as it was more accommodating for your bits. So more likely to fit more people, in my clitoris-owning opinion.

giphy-1

The controls are split into an off/on and a speed adjustment, but they are almost on a ‘toggle’ in the one white button. You can’t hold down the mode-change button to increase the speed, every time you want to adjust the settings you need to push the button again. I wasn’t a fan of this, since I keep trying to hold down the button to adjust the speed since that is what felt most intuitive to me. The colors are also nice, in comparison to the rose-gold of the other two. I actually love rose gold, but going back to that subtle design quality thing, rose-gold either looks chic or a bit tacky.

The Penguin has a bright ass LED that will blind you if you peek down to your nether regions while you play in the dark. I don’t like that at all. If a vibrator has to have a light, I think it should be something more subtle and playful instead of just glaring yoshi sunlight.

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It’s like when you look at your phone in the middle of the night, but while you’re orgasming

Satisfyer Pro 2

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is probably the most ‘suck-like’ of the line. The mouth is a bit thicker and provides more of a seal when you put it in position. The result is probably the most unique feeling in my opinion, where Satisfyer executed what they were going for with the suction sensation. I still have yet to decide if that is a good thing or not (for me). At times it kind of hurts, and I felt like over time the suction got intense enough that I would need to stop and re-adjust before continuing.  The shape is fairly ergonomic, although larger than the Penguin and the controls are separate as opposed to combined on one ‘toggle’ button like the Penguin.

The Satisfyer Pro 2 is also a magnetic USB charged toy, and also has a bright ass LED light while you’re using it. The controls for all three are about the same usefulness (AKA you need to continually push buttons to change modes). I found that some of the lower levels would kind of sputter, where the suction wouldn’t be at even intervals and it would rumble a bit more than the other two.

I had a good time with this vibrator, once I got the hang of it. With all of the Satisfyer line I found that when I first started to use it I had to adjust a few times to find the right spot to place it. Once I figured out where it worked best for me, I had a few sessions where I had some pretty great orgasms.

Satisfyer 2

The Satisfyer 2 was my least favorite out of the three. I think the design is the least appealing, from a visual standpoint and also a usability standpoint. The handle isn’t curved for gripping like the other two, and the white ABS plastic just plain doesn’t look nice. The controls are separated, and the general look of the controls is cheaper. The plus side is it doesn’t have a light to blind you, and the buttons actually function better even if they don’t look and feel as nice. The toy is also battery operated, which means that you could take the batteries out for travel and wouldn’t have to worry about it turning on and puttering away in your bag. The downside to taking it with you to travel is that it is also the biggest out of the collection, so it takes up the most space.

The Verdict

Considering the affordable price, I would recommend this toy for people who like direct clitoral stimulation and/or like to have hands-free play. I haven’t tested the Womananizer, which is a similar toy so I can’t fully compare it to any other “suction” vibration toys. I think that price VS the orgasmability and fun-factor means that it is a price-friendly toy to add to your collection if you’re looking to try something new.

As I mentioned above, I am going to recommend toys like this one to my friends who are trying to find a way to pleasure without a lot of vaginal contact. I think toys like this are a great way to experiment with this.

I would not recommend this toy to people who have sensitive clitorises and want more gentle vibrations or sensations. I also don’t consider it a super ‘couple friendly’ toy. The way the handle is shaped it is easiest for the owner of the clitoris to operate and not someone else.

Where to Buy it: Please find a reputable online or local sex shop to purchase sex toys. Avoid Amazon and Ebay for vibrators and other sex toys (you can find out why from the amazing Dangerous Lily). I live outside of the US, and because I primarily choose to purchase my toys in-person I don’t feel comfortable recommending a shop that I cannot fully vet. You can see Dangerous Lily’s recommendations.

A special thanks to Satisfyer for sending me their products and asking me to create an honest and unbiased review, while making jokes with gifs and video game references. OK maybe they didn’t ask for the jokes and video game references, but thanks anyways. 

One thought on “Review: Satisfyer Vibrators

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