What is it Really Like to Have a Threesome?

(When Everything Goes Right)

So, you’ve found your unicorn,¬†and you’re about to have your first threesome. Or maybe you’re just curious what on earth actually goes on during a threesome, outside of the expectations porn has given you.

I’ve had my fair share of threesomes, I have even had threesome relationships! Threesomes are fun, sexy, awkward, and way different than twosies sex. When you have found the right dynamic with three people and you negotiate carefully, they can be incredibly fun.

I want to talk about successful threesomes, when things go right. I find that there is this “sweet spot” of sexual energy where three people click and the night goes off with a bang. There are too many articles out there about how awkward threesomes are (in a bad way) or how it ruined their relationship. This is not one of those articles. Be prepared for threesome positive fun.

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Look how fun! (from Lost Girl which is a great show by the way)

Sex is Less Goal Oriented

Threesomes are all about taking turns. Vanilla M/F sex tends to “goal oriented” where one (or hopefully both) of the involved parties orgasm and then it’s over. When there are two vaginas involved and one penis (or pretty much any other configuration of a threesome), the math doesn’t add up as well. Reaching orgasm becomes a nice bonus, but the experience tends to be much more about enjoying each other and pleasure and less about the big O.

I’ve found that my threesome sex lasts a bit longer, with more pauses in between. Sometimes we take breaks for drinks of water or snacks, and some of the time is just spent snuggling in bed.

Now Wait Your Turn!

I only have experience with FFF (girl party!) and FFM (two females and one male) threesomes so I’m sure this is a bit different for MMM and MMF threesomes, but you have to take turns. This extends beyond just “who is getting fucked right now” because how they are getting fucked is also an issue. Is one of the female identified people getting penetrated by the guy while she is kissing the other girl? Or is she also performing oral sex on the other girl?

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To be completely honest, often times there is a lot of just hanging out while the two other people are doing it. Certain positions seem like they would work quite well after observing them in porn, only to find that it is a lot like juggling. Or rubbing your tummy and patting your head at the same time.

You have to dig watching some of the time. This is where your life turns into your own porno and you get a front seat to the action. There is a fine balance between taking a breather and disconnecting, so usually there is some “active listening” on the watcher end of the game, and then re-engaging when the time feels right.

It’s Playful

I think the most fun I’ve ever had doing something sexual has been in threesomes. Something about three people in bed all nakey who are comfortable with each other suddenly opens the door for a lot more giggles. You always have someone to gang up on, and there is so much more banter that goes on when three people who all like each other hop in bed.

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It Can Get A Bit Messy

Hot sex is usually messy. Think about all the wet spots on the bed sheets, thrown away condoms, hair in the mouth. Now add one more person worth of people-goo. The room will get more heated up, there will be more sweat and if you’re pausing to switch condoms (which you should!) or clean off toys. The whole situation is a lot more chaotic. Embrace the chaos. A little mess won’t hurt you, and that is what washing machines are for.

Sleeping Three Across – Mixed Opinions

After all the fun is over, usually the whole ‘who is sleeping over’ situation for me has been negotiated before hand. Sometimes I will agree to sleep over with the two people. I kind of hate sleeping three across, I never get enough rest and I certainly don’t want to be the one roasting in the middle. However, several of my threesome parters love sleeping in the middle.

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